Monday, January 23, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Churchill on Italian Cruise Lines
A friend reminded me of a comment made by Winston Churchill.
After his retirement he was cruising the Mediterranean on an Italian cruise liner and some Italian journalists asked why an ex British Prime Minister should choose an Italian ship.
“There are three things I like about being on an Italian cruise ship” - said Churchill.
“First their cuisine is unsurpassed. Second their service is superb. And then, in case of an emergency, there is none of this nonsense about women and children first."
After his retirement he was cruising the Mediterranean on an Italian cruise liner and some Italian journalists asked why an ex British Prime Minister should choose an Italian ship.
“There are three things I like about being on an Italian cruise ship” - said Churchill.
“First their cuisine is unsurpassed. Second their service is superb. And then, in case of an emergency, there is none of this nonsense about women and children first."
Lost in Translation
Ted Koppel of ABC and Rick Kaplan, his executive producer, are laughing at a misunderstanding which has just occurred with a friendly Kremlin functionary. The official approached the Americans and wished them a Happy Christmas. With a straight face Kaplan, who is Jewish, replied, "To me you will have to say "Happy Hanukkah". "Why would I have to say 'Happy Honecker'? asked the official, puzzled. The Americans bust out laughing at the official's assumption the Kaplan is referring to Erich Honecker, who fled to Moscow after the fall of the Berlin Wall two years earlier.
The Last Day of the Soviet Union
Moscow December 25, 1991
pp25-26
Conor O'Clery
Public Affairs
The Last Day of the Soviet Union
Moscow December 25, 1991
pp25-26
Conor O'Clery
Public Affairs
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Student who obtained 0% on an exam
I would have given him 100%. -L
Q1. In which battle did Hannibal die? * his last battle
Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page
Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid
Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage
Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams
Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast? * Lunch & dinner
Q7. What looks like half an apple? * The other half
Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become * It will simply become wet
Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping? * No problem, he sleeps at night.
Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? * You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.
Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have? * Very large hands
Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? * No time at all, the wall is already built.
Q13. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? * Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
Q1. In which battle did Hannibal die? * his last battle
Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page
Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid
Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage
Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams
Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast? * Lunch & dinner
Q7. What looks like half an apple? * The other half
Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become * It will simply become wet
Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping? * No problem, he sleeps at night.
Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? * You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.
Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have? * Very large hands
Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? * No time at all, the wall is already built.
Q13. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? * Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Japan says thank you
Our current President thinks we have gotten "soft" and "lazy". Someone needs to remind him of the incredible humanitarian missions we do on a daily basis...not only in Japan but all over the world.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Flight 109 Hudson River
Let this load awhile before you press the play button. This is full of suspense – even though I knew what was going to happen!
Public Service Announcement
Please, take care of yourself out on the roads this holiday season.
A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related.
This means that the remaining 77% are caused by a$$h*les who drink bottled water, Starbucks, soda, juice, energy drinks, and sh*t like that.
Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many accidents.
This message is sent to you by someone who worries about your safety.
A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related.
This means that the remaining 77% are caused by a$$h*les who drink bottled water, Starbucks, soda, juice, energy drinks, and sh*t like that.
Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many accidents.
This message is sent to you by someone who worries about your safety.
Problem magnification
On a television show, Eddie Fisher complained to George S. Kaufman that women refused to date him because he looked so young. Kaufman considered this and replied:
“Mr. Fisher, on Mount Wilson there is a telescope that can magnify the most distant stars up to 24 times the magnification of any previous telescope. This remarkable instrument was unsurpassed until the construction of the Mount Palomar telescope, an even more remarkable instrument of magnification. Owing to advances and improvements in optical technology, it is capable of magnifying the stars to four times the magnification and resolution of the Mount Wilson telescope. Mr. Fisher, if you could somehow put the Mount Wilson telescope inside the Mount Palomar telescope, you still wouldn’t be able to detect my interest in your problem.”
“Mr. Fisher, on Mount Wilson there is a telescope that can magnify the most distant stars up to 24 times the magnification of any previous telescope. This remarkable instrument was unsurpassed until the construction of the Mount Palomar telescope, an even more remarkable instrument of magnification. Owing to advances and improvements in optical technology, it is capable of magnifying the stars to four times the magnification and resolution of the Mount Wilson telescope. Mr. Fisher, if you could somehow put the Mount Wilson telescope inside the Mount Palomar telescope, you still wouldn’t be able to detect my interest in your problem.”
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